Please, please, please be an early April fools joke. I really need this to not be a real thing.
A company called the Order of Yoni has announced the world’s first beer made from a specific yeast strain cultivated from a woman’s vagina. The company claims the yeast was taken from Czech model Alexandra Brendlov and finding her and her yeast was the result of a long, arduous selection process.
From their website:
Using hi-tech of microbiology, we isolate, examine and prepare lactic acid bacteria from vagina of a unique woman. The bacteria, lactobacillus, transfer woman’s features, allure, grace, glamour, and her instincts into beers and other products, turning them into dance with lovely goddess.
The beer, titled “Bottled Instinct” is a dark ale and naturally said to have a sour taste to it.
The company is currently trying to raise 150,000 Euros on Indiegogo to brew six batches of this insane beer, but as of yet they have only raised a mere 280 Euros. IF, and I do mean IF, they are real and successful, they have future concepts that include:
1) BDSM ale – sour ale made with smoked plums and vaginal lactic acid bacteria of red-head or brunette model,
2) Blond ale made with wheat malt, saffron and edible gold, with vaginal lactic acid bacteria of a blond-haired model or celebrity,
3) Aphrodisia / Dionysia – wheat ale made with ancient strains of wheat, grape juice,
4) Mona Lisa – brown sour ale with wooden chips, the tribute to the famous piece of art,
5) Isis – Sour ancient wheat ale with roses,
6) Cleopatra – Milk stout regarding to Cleopatra’s milk baths,
7) Lady Godiva – sour ale with English hops.
If you want to support this idea, head to the Indiegogo campaign. I’m gonna go throw up in my mouth a little.